literature

Our Broken Humanity

Deviation Actions

Reham-Y's avatar
By
Published:
673 Views

Literature Text

Born at dawn with a soul that's split in half
One was sullen and the other you can't hear its laugh
Roses and rainbows and everything that's nice
It rips them apart with a heart that's made of ice
Don't be deceived from the other side of the mirror
It's a raging demon with a mind that'll never be clearer
Echos of my screaming voice fills the  land
Everyone turned deaf not a soul reaching their hand
The wrath of my demon goes beyond
For every soul that haven't respond
The weeping of my wounded angel is ignored
They sealed its weary vocal cord
They question my insanity
But i'm damned because of their humanity
They are greedy selfish creatures
That haven't learned anything from their teachers
well i wrote this today. i was angry at people for disregarded people who are in need and are in pain. they just look away and continue with their life. 
© 2014 - 2024 Reham-Y
Comments10
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
NOTEBLUE13's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Originality
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star: Impact

This has a very deep and powerful message, and I can relate wholeheartedly to it. Things like this happen everyday and people either remain ignorant of this kind of behavior or they are the ones who are delving it out themselves.

The only things that you could work on would be the grammar:

-'Everyone turned deff not a soul reaching their hand', This could easily be changed to 'Everyone turned deaf and not a soul reaching their hand' or you could put a comma between deaf and not.

-'For every soul that haven't respond' could be changed to 'For every soul that did not respond'

Now this one's only a suggestion: In 'They sealed its weary vocal cord' you could add 'have' in between 'They' and 'sealed'

Anyways, I loved the poem, and I can't wait to see more from you! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/a/a…" width="15" height="15" alt=":aww:" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="349" title="Aww"/>